Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize