i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
