Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
