So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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