He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you have to choose: penises or morals?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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