i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize