Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
