I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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