Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
