Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sorry about my life...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
