I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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