Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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