Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
