so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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