So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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