Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
