We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
