we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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