Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
