I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
