Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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