so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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