Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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