Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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