Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
