Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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