Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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