Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
