I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
