I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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