So drunk, too bad you don't want this
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
