you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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