Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
