Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize