My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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