i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How does it feel to date your dad?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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