Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
