No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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