Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
