remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
