As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
