So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
