too bad you live with your parents still
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
