Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
