I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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