i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
