She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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