and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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