Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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