we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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