If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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