I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
