Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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