Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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