There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
