Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
