you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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