fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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