i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
