thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
