i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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