ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize