I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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