ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Sober January is a disaster.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
