Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize