As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
