He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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