We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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